Serving Two Masters

No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

Matthew 6:24

    In my last entry I wrote that I would share a personal example as to how a pastor making spiritual calls can negatively influence a christian, and a church. This is one of the first steps of my deconstruction, and literally started a journey that I am still on today. It starts with something as simple as service. In any IFB (Independent Fundamental Baptist) church there is an emphasis on service, doing our best for the Master as it were. This service becomes not only your claim to faithfulness, but it is the basis for rewards in the afterlife, and status in the present. I cannot tell you how many times that I have looked at others in the church and justified myself because I had done some action that they had not. We are encouraged to do this for various reasons, there are obvious ones like to fill the church up and then others like bringing glory to God. Serving for the sake of pleasing God and accomplishing his will on Earth. That will is that all men everywhere should be saved, or born again. The obvious benefits of a full church means a better offering, a better wage to pull in a "better qualified" pastor, and more money for ministry. The point is we are asked to serve and we do or at least I did. From nursing home ministries, to jail ministries, to street preaching, to door to door evangelism, I did it all. There was a small group of us at our church and we went and did whatever was needed. 

    I am not bragging, we went because our pastor asked us and because we felt like it was our duty. The selfless side of all of that was that we did do it because we were called to serve, but there was also the side of it all that was selfish, the one that gained us standing in the church and in the eyes of the pastor. The pastor would praise us for being spiritual, and he would confide in us problems in the church, whether it was a person, or it was some other issue the church was facing. We became a tight inner circle and it was awesome and exactly what my twenty two year old ego did not need. I was becoming indoctrinated to follow. Let me preface the following with the statement that there is nothing wrong with following, as long as you can also think for yourself and act independently if need be. I could not. I was raised on a farm by my stepdad who was an ex-marine. We were taught to do what he said when he said. He wasn't abusive, he might fuss a little, but honestly now that I have a son that is exactly like me, I understand....I really do. That translated over into the workforce great and it has been a huge help. It also translated over into the church world, and it was not so great. I was conditioned to follow orders from my superior. In the IFB it is the pastor first. He will tell you what the bible says and what it means. 

    Approval is everything, whether it is keeping up appearances, or getting more responsibility in the church, or getting licensed or ordained to preach. Everything comes down to approval. My wife had just finished her two year transfer degree and she was looking for a transfer school. I had been searching for a pastorate for about three years with no luck, and both of us had wanted to live near the ocean so she applied at Old Dominion University. We figured we would see what happened and if she would be accepted and then we would pray about the move. She was accepted and so we told our pastor, and we began to pray. We were taught for many years you pray, and then you should get confirmation from the Bible on what you should do. I feel like I soaked it down in prayer, and got scriptural confirmation. We tried three or four times to talk to our pastor, but he was too busy having just come back from a conference he had big new vision for the church with the aim of growing much much bigger. So when the day came we left. Nothing. worked. out. I sunk everything I had into this move. I left a steady job, a church that was about to call me to pastor, my family, and took a huge chance. 

    My wife caved first, she called her mom and my mother in law God love her heart  made plans to get us home. I called my pastor. He basically told me in no uncertain terms that I failed, we failed, because I based this decision on my wife. He told me that I needed to come to the church and get things right. He said we would talk when I got back. All I wanted was some encouragement, all I got was bombarded with guilt. We had done EVERYTHING right. We never stopped attending church, we tithed, we read our bible, we prayed, everything we were supposed to do, and yet he acted like I had ruined my ministry. I went to church that night, I talked to that pastor and he was disappointed that we were leaving and in that conversation I said that I felt like I ruined my ministry. He looked very confused at me and said "Why do you think that?" I don't remember what was said next, I was taken aback. I sat through church and realized for the first time since I was an adult. (At 35) that my pastor, the good, godly, spiritual man that he was had taken the place of the holy spirit in my life, not by force, but by suggestion. I followed well enough that I was taking his word, over the leading of the spirit. 

When I say that pastoral overreach is a problem in churches, this is the reason. They are in a position of power and power corrupts, and absolute power (like my pastor had) can corrupt absolutely. I learned that night that I was the one who was supposed to be taking the steps under the leadership of God, not my pastor. No man can serve two masters. I can't, but more importantly neither can the pastor. He will either serve God, or man, and by man I mean himself.